Two crucial notes related to last night’s presidential candidate debate and how it ultimately all comes back to me.  Jordan in her twenties would have relished the opportunity to jump on a comment such as the “binder full of women” flub.  Even taken out of context, it’s almost too perfect to pass up.  Actually, especially taken out of context it’s a loaded statement.

But Jordan in her thirties kind of feels as if it is time to pass the torch on to someone else who has the energy to make the obvious comments.  Jordan in her thirties fully believes that it does not matter how stupid a candidate is, or how out of touch they are with reality,or how ridiculous the things they say are, as long as there is a larger percentage of registered voters who fall anywhere on the spectrum that is, for lack of a better term, stupider.  Nothing I say can change that, and it’s best to take a zen approach.  You should have seen some of the insightful and brilliant observations I made about the things said during the first four Bush years.  It didn’t change a thing about the second four years.

I don’t even think anyone from his administration read my zines.

Second, I can’t believe we still expect our politicians to wear flag lapel pins like it’s crazy go nuts.  If we’re going to judge the amount of America in their hearts by such a small accessory, we should at least make that accessory more difficult to come by than a pin you can buy at the gas station.  Like this button advertising Tom Cruise’s All the Right Moves.  Or these green New Kids on the Block earrings.  Americans can have such odd measures of loyalty, but in this case I feel as if we’ve set the bar too low.

So anyways, as I will not be putting any future self worth into the cleverness of my zingers relative to what people who run my life but don’t care about my life have to say, I would like to talk about the accomplishments that Jordan in her thirties is actually proud of.

• While trying to use mashed potatoes to scoop up some spicy barbecue sauce that came with my lunch, the sauce and the potatoes fell off my plastic fork… but I caught them both with my thumb midair before it got all over my work pants.
• Today I was able to listen to a podcast about a woman with OCD without having to leave my desk to wash my hands in solidarity.
• I remembered to take my vitamin D supplement just now.
• My office plants have really flourished under my care and I am such an adult now that I have a vase with those marble things in my office.

So, moving on, it’s a new time in my life where in I have neither the energy nor motivation to talk about things the candidates say.  I am in my thirties, and I worry about getting food on my clothes, and I drink weird sodas, and I take supplements, and I let things slide.